Coffee Shop Creep-Out
by silvermoonstone23
Summary: Brendan started it all with the words "I will tell you a story." {Hoennshipping one-shot, strangest title ever, happy birthday Sabrina-san!}


May entered the charming café as she always did, sitting in one of the cushy armchairs after having bought a little cake. When the quiet library made her too restless, and her bustling house and school wouldn't let her focus, she could always count on the coffee shop to have just the right amount of noise.

She'd just begun her studying. She'd just turned her history textbook to the correct page and flicked out her notes when—

Her cell phone began buzzing.

At first, she wanted to ignore it. It was only a text, after all. But some persuasive part of her brain told her that it might be important or urgent. Perhaps her father needed her help. Or one of her friends. Perhaps Wally was sick.

And so May found herself eagerly whipping out her phone. But it was only Brendan.

She felt as though that should have made her hopes sink, but strangely, it didn't. Her heart lurched a bit when she saw his name. She read the message:

**Received from "Brendan" 5:13 PM  
**_Give me three random things and I'll connect them. I will tell you a story_

May stared at the screen. It was just like him to just start off like that, without any explanation. Maybe he thought he was funny. Maybe he was trying to make her laugh.

May shook herself. For what purpose would Brendan be trying to make _her _laugh?

She glanced at her history textbook. She really _should _have been studying. If she didn't begin now she never would. So she set down her phone and started reading.

But eleven and a half boring minutes later…

**Received from "Brendan" 5:24 PM  
**_I knew it. You hate me._

She rolled her eyes, but still didn't write anything back. She had to continue to do this work.

But the next time he wrote was but two minutes later.

**Received from "Brendan" 5:26 PM  
**_You know, I'm getting bored here. I have a feeling that you're not answering on purpose so that I'm left alone to think of strange things in pairs of three. I've gone through bongo drums, crystal balls, horoscopes, candy factories, old computers, Halloween costumes, cover bands, and cars with broken taillights, and yet I still feel that whatever you come up with will knock them out of the park._

At this, May took up her phone resignedly. She'd just have a short conversation. Then she'd go back to her studying.

**Sent 5:27 PM  
**_Alright, I'm here._

The reply was immediate.

**Received from "Brendan" 5:27 PM  
**_May! I was getting worried. I thought you were abducted by aliens._

**Sent 5:28 PM  
**_I abducted the aliens_

**Received from "Brendan" 5:28 PM  
**_And rightfully so. Now do as I say, snowball! Give me three things_

**Sent 5:30 PM  
**_A whole bunch of kittens, a ski lift, and a feminist book club_

**Received from "Brendan" 5:31 PM  
**_I was right. You are better at coming up with random things than me_

**Sent 5:31 PM  
**_I try_

**Sent 5:31 PM  
**_But I was promised a story_

**Received from "Brendan" 5:32 PM  
**_Correct. And this story begins in a library_

**Sent 5:33 PM  
**_No! No libraries make it a coffee shop_

**Received from "Brendan" 5:33 PM  
**_Why?_

**Sent 5:33 PM  
**_That's where I am_

**Received from "Brendan" 5:35 PM  
**_Well don't tell me that. What if I'm not really Brendan? What if I'm a serial killer who is now going to creep on you in this coffee shop?_

**Sent 5:36 PM  
**_Ah, but you don't know which coffee shop to go to for your coffee shop creep-out_

**Received from "Brendan" 5:36 PM  
**_I never thought I would hear the words "coffee shop creep-out" put together in a sentence_

**Sent 5:37 PM  
**_Well I am an enigma_

**Sent 5:37 PM  
**_An enigma who was promised a story_

**Received from "Brendan" 5:38 PM  
**_Yes, the story. The kittens were owned by the feminists, but they had secret lives that the feminists didn't know about_

**Sent 5:40 PM  
**_Like?_

**Received from "Brendan" 5:41 PM  
**_Like they were on the computer a lot. They laughed at viral videos of blubbery people (blubbery as in emotional, not like a whale) and they stole entire packs of strawberries, and they left snarky comments on A.V. Club articles_

**Sent 5:46 PM  
**_Sounds intense_

**Received from "Brendan" 5:46 PM  
**_It was, Mayflower. It was_

**Sent 5:47 PM  
**_And you know what they say. Just two strawberries can be the difference between life and death_

**Sent 5:47 PM  
**_You know, if they're really sour or something_

**Sent 5:47 PM  
**_But where does the ski lift come in?_

**Received from "Brendan" 5:48 PM  
**_Well the feminists had been especially loud one evening while holding their book club, and it made their bundle of kittens irritated. So, on the club's skiing trip (which the cats did NOT want to be on, because it was so cold) the kittens hijacked the ski lift so that it froze when their owners were on it_

**Sent 5:48 PM  
**_That's horrible!_

**Received from "Brendan" 5:49 PM  
**_Indeed it is. And so the kittens felt extremely bad about it, and fixed the ski lift and were especially affectionate when their owners returned. Because like all great stories this one has a moral_

**Sent 5:51 PM  
**_Don't become an evil kitten and trap your owner on a freezing-cold ski lift?_

**Received from "Brendan" 5:51 PM  
**_I was going to say "appreciate what you have" but that works too._

**Sent 5:52 PM  
**_And your entire purpose for texting me was to prove that you can string random things together into a story?_

**Received from "Brendan" 5:53 PM  
**_Well, no_

**Sent 5:53 PM  
**_No? Then what did you want to talk about?_

**Received from "Brendan" 5:55 PM  
**_…_

**Sent 5:55 PM  
**_I hate when people write that in texts. Either say something or don't!_

**Sent 6:07 PM  
**_So you really have nothing to say?_

**Sent 6:18 PM  
**_Brendan?_

**Received from "Brendan" 6:18 PM  
**_Yeah I'm still here_

**Sent 6:18 PM  
**_Why did you start this conversation?_

**Received from "Brendan" 6:21 PM  
**_I guess I just wanted to talk to you._

May stared at the screen of her phone. She read the message three times over to make sure it was correct. She glanced at the books left forgotten on the table. No matter how hard she tried, she could not make the insistent fluttering in her chest go away, so she swept them back into her bag and made a decision. Brendan had started this whole strange conversation with just six words. _"I will tell you a story."_ May finished it with just six words.

**Sent 6:23 PM  
**_Do you want to meet up?_

* * *

_A/N:_

_WOW. THAT WAS BORING AND DIDN'T MAKE SENSE._

_Okay, so I'm convinced that all of the fumes from coffee have been going to my brain because I set way too many things in cafés. I just like them. They're just so quaint. I'm going bonkers._

_But anyways, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Carl / Glitters / Haruka / Sabrina –san! (wahaha I don't know how to call you!) I know we haven't really spoken, but we're still part of the same studio, and that means I STILL GET TO BORE YOU WITH THIS NONSENSE! I hope you had a fabulous birthday & that maybe we can work together in PokeFanficStudios in the future! ^-^_

_-Silvia_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon or anything else!**


End file.
